AS A
'FRIEND OF THE ALMANACK'
YOU CAN SAVE $$$!
WHAT
'FRIENDS OF THE ALMANACK'
GET
MID-ATLANTIC WEATHER WATCH FOR AUGUST

Remnants of Gulf hurricane, heavy rain in the southern part of the region (1,2,3) with hot and humid weather (4,5,6); STORMS (7,8) followed by the 3 H’s – hazy, hot, and humid (9,10,11,12,13); Atlantic hurricane, heavy rain, severe STORMS  (14,15,16,17) turning hot and humid again (18,19,20,21,22). Periods of STORMS, mainly in the south (23,24,25,26,27,28,29,30,31).  

MONTHLY GARDEN ACTIVITIES


BEST DAYS FOR FARM ACTIVITIES 

                                                       


THOUGHT FOR TODAY'S 

LIVING  


"The wise man often says little while observing much; the fool observes little while talking a lot” 

                                                                                      John Gruber  (1768-1857) 

OUR READERS WRITE

S
ince this column first appeared in The Almanack, our readers have never let us down and have always provided us with a wealth of original poetry, along with some pretty good jokes, personal anecdotes, and quotes of inspiration. We continue to encourage everyone to consider submitting and we stand by our commitment to publish each and every one of them!

A WINTRY SIGHT

When homes are decorated with garlands green
It creates for all a most exquisite scene
From the wood on the fireplace that burns its glow
To the stockings, safe above, that are lined neatly in a row
As they set waiting for the Jolly Old Elf to appear
To fill them up with all of the things that we hold so dear
It is much like magic or so to us it seems
Like the wishes that we weave in our Christmas dreams
To awaken in the morning to a world bedecked all in white
It is truly a breathtakingly wonderful, wintry sight.

IN BLOOM

Safe in slumber within the earth’s cavernous crust
Lies the seed, twisting round in the brown, brittle dust
It outstretches its arms, yawning, and reaches incredibly high
To feel the sun baking down, from there in the picturesque sky
Pushing it’s head up in approval and winking it’s beautiful green eyes
It announces full bloom in the springtime with a loud and melodious

Tina M. Hultslander
Funkstown, Maryland 

FIFTY DOLLARS IS FIFTY DOLLARS

Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year,And every year, Morris would say that he wanted to take a ride in a helicopter. Esther always replied,'I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars,And fifty dollars is fifty dollars.'

One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said,'Look, Esther, I'm 85 years old.If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.'To this, Esther replied,'Morris that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.'

The pilot overheard the couple and said, 'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny! But if you say one word, it will cost you fifty dollars.'

Morris and Esther agreed and up they went.The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word.When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, 'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!' Morris replied,'Well, to tell you the truth,I almost said something when Esther fell out, But you know, fifty dollars is fifty dollars!'

Barbara Greene
Silver Spring, MD